Escape

So this one time, in March, I applied to teach English in Spain for the 2013-2014 school year. [I also wrote blog posts more regularly back then...]

Then I heard nothing more than "Wait until next month and we'll have news" about it for, well, months.

And now I'm going to Spain in maybe 2 weeks. Which I found out not quite 2 weeks ago.

This has obviously caused me no end of hair pulling and panicked Googling as I scrambled to rearrange not only my mental image of the next year of my life but all the actual stuff that has to be done along with that. Pesky documents needed for a visa, bureaucracies and their confusing websites, telling the family I work for I'm leaving the country - and I haven't even begun to think about packing.

But a little stress now is only going to pay off big time over the next nine months because I GET TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY!!!

And I get to go somewhere that looks like this.

[At least, I hope this all works out. I feel like I can't get my hopes up until I've bought a plane ticket at the last minute just in case something goes wrong and they won't let me in the country.]

It has been a long two years since my glorious summer in Peru and I just about went crazy last fall calculating the time it would take me before I qualified for the Peace Corps [my original go-abroad scheme that sadly is not going to happen for a long time]. So as not-ideal as all this documentation and notarization and consulate stuff is, I desperately need it.

And that is not an exaggeration.

I've never quite understood how I came to be so uncomfortable with American culture. [Except for movies and TV. I already have all my shows set to record for the entire next season that I'll be missing. Thank goodness we finally have cable and DVR.] I mean, since I studied human development for three years, I have quite a few theories. But it's weirdly fascinating that, despite all the inherent privilege and cushiness in my life, I can't stand the thought of staying here forever.

Objectively, I know I could have a decent life in suburban Texas. A [small] part of me would rather stay and live la vida cotidiana, an average American life. But one of the most incredible things our culture gives us is a desire to strive for happiness. We feel entitled to live "happy" lives. To have "fulfilling" careers. To reach for our dreams. To have such lofty dreams in the first place. It's such a bizarre first-world, middle class goal.

I don't really know where I'm taking this. I'm just really [cautiously] excited about traveling again and I hope this isn't all ridiculously obvious and boring. I apologize if it is. I'm still having a bit of trouble articulating all the things I feel about getting closer to my international dreams. I always think this is partially because some people don't take me seriously when I say I want to move out of the U.S. Forever. Most people are looking to do the opposite of that.

So yeah. I'm going to Spain. I'll have a multitude of things to talk about so I will definitely be blogging regularly again. And sharing pretty pictures. And hopefully living my dream!