And then I remember that we had VBS at my church this week, and I was going to school, and I read a book, and I spent too much time on the Internet. And I watched Midnight in Paris which was really fabulous and I played Jeopardy with friends and I cooked and cleaned and wrote.
Then I don't wonder why I'm feeling so tired. Why my eyes are drooping even though it's only 9:33 and a college student should be able to stay awake until 3 in the morning [although my laptop providing the only light in my room could certainly be a contributing factor].
So first, let me apologize if you expect to hear from me more often. I don't know why I think you should have that impression since I've never been particularly conscientious about updating my blog. But I always worry that I'm letting people down so here it is in another medium.
Secondly, I don't have much of my own rambling to offer today. I am still having trouble getting back into the rhythm of having a computer around but not spending all day on it. I have to turn the modem/router dealies off so that I'm not tempted by the Internet.
But before I do that, I want to share something with y'all.
There's this awesome movie called Once that stars musicians Marketa Irglova and Glen Hansard and they sing many, many lovely songs, one of which won an Oscar [hence my introduction to them]. They went on to collaborate as The Swell Season on two wonderful albums.
[Also, Glen Hansard is part of the band The Frames which is also amazing. I'm partial to their album The Cost after a funny turn of events: I thought recognized Glen's voice in a song that played during a fantastic episode of Castle, so I looked it up. That song, played at the end of this clip, is Rise.]
I recently added Strict Joy to my iTunes collection and was originally kind of annoyed that they included a bunch of live tracks. I'm not a huge fan of listening to people talk when I want to be listening to their music.
BUT THEN I ACTUALLY LISTENED TO SOME OF THE TALKING.
Unbelievable, I know. But on two of the tracks, Glen [I feel weird using his first name but the alternative is typing his whole name 5 million times or calling him Mr. Hansard which is just bizarre] says some really poignant things. So I copied them down and here they are:
What Happens When the Heart Just Stops (Live)
This is about being in one of those relationships where you find yourself so insecure, so needy, so obsessed...and the idea is your heart is in a lot of pain, your heart is in a lot of pain it's not good, you're not happy. You're living your life in anxiety and stress.
Your head is so clear that everything is okay. Your head is saying, your logical self is saying, "It's grand. She loves me. We spend all of our time together. Her parents like me, even."
And your heart is a, an abandoned train that's speeding, being driven by a lion, just RUAAGH. On ice, CRUUAHH. Your heart is just out of control.
And the problem is - and I guess here is the essential problem with us humans, is that this muscle and this muscle don't communicate. They don't have a relationship. Most other organs in your body have some kind of relationship with each other, you know, that whole idea of I'll take it from here, passing it down, yep, got it, cool...
But these two muscles - the day you were born they stopped talking. Or maybe when you were three, if you want to get into actual proper psychoanalysis. Or four months old. Anyway, so they stop communicating. And so this is all about praying, putting your hands together, and praying to whoever it is to please turn off this muscle because it's crazy and mad and WAUGH.
Go with Happiness (Live)
[Note: Rare instance of profanity ahead. I think it's totally appropriate in context.]
It seems like the subject of the night, so far, has been two muscles. This is a song about, just a song about having trouble with love and being hurt, not knowing if you want to go back in or out.
Then you hear the song of the siren, the metaphor for, you come upon beauty by accident. And it's again how the speeding train driven by a lion on ice, suddenly - WAAUGH, PFFFH - comes into play and logic is suppressed.
So I would like to dedicate this song to the captains of all the, like the northwestern and all the ships off deadliest catch, only because it's a, because we've been watching it and also, because uh it's a lovely idea, you know. That you're captaining a ship and you hear the song of the siren and the rocks and you know that to turn your ship towards the rocks is very dangerous.
But the heart says, "Fuck the rocks."
The head says, "But we'll all die."
The heart says, "Poetically."
All this in an Irish accent. And that's the human condition, folks. I've got nothing more to add.